Yesterday, my new niece was born! My little sister, Katie, had her second child. She has a little boy, and yesterday, she had a little girl- they are calling her Stella. I didn’t know if I would be able to see her in the hospital, or when I would get to meet the baby. I did my usual and didn’t promise anything, because I never know how I will feel in advance. I don’t have a lot of good days, but lately I had had a couple of better ones (it’s all relative!). This little girl had been prayed for and hoped for, for a long time! I knew yesterday morning that there was nothing short of a tornado, that could keep me away.
I called and let my sweet, brave sister know that I would be able to come see her! It was raining and sleeting some, and the hospital was about 40 minutes away. That’s farther than I have driven in at least a year. Well, there’s nothing in the world I love more than newborns, so I had some incentive!
Here we are!!!! My hair turned to frizz in the rain, but that is a genuinely elated smile! I savored her soft, fuzzy hair, warm little weight in my arms, and her gentle inhale and exhale. I cannot have any more children, but that just means that I get to love on other people’s babies even more! Katie looked beautiful and so relaxed.
I called James during the day, and pulled the car over. We facetimed and I was in tears. He immediately asked what was wrong. I said, “nothing, I just drove a car!”. Pretty simple, but the pure joy of it brought me to tears. I had to stop and thank God, right there on the side of the road. Again, and again I said prayers of thanks. Not that long ago (ok, even some last week) I didn’t know if I would ever feel well enough to drive myself around. I never took big things for granted, like my loving family, my health, and the roof over my head. It was the little tiny things- like driving a car, or being able to say “yes I will be there”- those simple, small things, I used to take for granted. Now I don’t.
When I got home last night, I told James that when I was standing on the maternity floor, waiting for them to open the door that led to the hallway with patient rooms…I got a familiar feeling. It’s the same feeling I get when I enter some churches and chapels- one of awe. I feel God. It blasts me in the face when I walk onto the hospital hallway- all of those new little souls, fresh and wonderful, each one of them. The world has been waiting to meet them for approximately nine months. Each hospital room has one, maybe two, lives that were meant to be from the beginning of time. They are precious, and yesterday, I got to appreciate that.